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A Year and A Day Later…

02 Jan

I started 2012 with the post “That Was Great, Let’s Not Do It Again”. In it, I resolved to be truer to me, no matter that some people would not like it. I also said I’d update on 1st January 2013. So with apologies for tardiness, here it is.

Another year passed in the blink of an eye, yet at times it felt like a leaden crawl. I stayed largely true to my intentions and as a consequence finished the year with fewer friends and more acquaintances, and I suspect, a couple of people who don’t like me anymore.

Therefore I count myself blessed. Friends who only take without reciprocation apart from empty blandishments are not friends. As someone opined during one of those out-of-the-blue mutual life analysis conversations: “The trouble with having wide shoulders is that you can end up carrying people instead of supporting them.”

On the employment front, I have reviewed many jobs, applied for a couple of hundred and got nowhere. Apparently my skillset and experience make me virtually unemployable in the current market. Plus the government has decided to demonise the unemployed just to make things interesting. (If I was defrauding the country to the tune that they are, I’d be locked up for life.)

I’ve published my fourth book, with the fifth ready but delayed due to one of my proof readers encountering life issues; I will never put my writing above someone’s blood. The sixth book will be finished this week, for publication mid-year.

Family problems derailed my intentions to write solidly in November and December, but the end result of said problems will be beneficial for all concerned. For me, it will allow me to finally go bankrupt, removing a burden I have carried for a while. I have paid in more than money for my spending abilities. I will bleed no more.

I am still alone. Whilst I am far from happy with that fact, I am better at living with it than ever before. I have good friends yet the absence of a partner is a different kind of lonely that cannot be relieved. All that I can do is carry on in hope and not let it drag me down into maudlin wasting.

I shall finish with naught but a rueful grin and sparks in my eyes. I have come a long way and made mistakes, yet have had a lot of fun, learned things and count myself fortunate that I have only two regrets at this point in my life.

Oh, the asshole moment count finished the year at two (neither being the subjects of regret), although others may tally it differently. C’est la vie. 🙂

Happy New Year. Let’s have more honesty and less denial, shall we? 😀

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Posted by on January 2, 2013 in Life & Self

 

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